numbness

every time i open my eyes its like am still in a dream but not a dream more like a nightmare that has a trap glass door i never seem to open or go pass it is all ways there even if i run its there some time am able to break free but then the glass door pulls me back turns in to a glass room i think to my self ill never break free from the hell hole am in i here people talk to me i smile with a fake smile just so they can be happy but what i want to know is this what is like to be alive living in a nightmare feeling nothing but pain some time i dont feel anything as if i was a walking doll crying and screaming but no one can here me even when i bleed it feels unreal and numb am i real am i alive or dead both or the same to me but why i love making others happy but what about me dont i matter no i dont its over for me there will never be a way out and no one will every here my crys or screams its my fate to live this way in a nightmare that never ends that is all am good for i always feel like am falling will any one catch me can any thing be mine ..........................................................................................................................................................